You might be considered a West Virginian if …

Posted by | March 5, 2007

“You might be considered a West Virginian if … (1) Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs are killed … (2) Less than half the cars you own actually run … (3) Your diploma contains the words ‘Trucking Institute’ … (4) Your wife’s hairdo has ever been caught in a ceiling fan … (5) You have a rag for a gas cap … (6) Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.”

“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.”

“The little boy was heard by his teacher using a most unsuitable word. “Jeffrey,” she said, “you should not use that word. Where did you hear it?” “My daddy said it.” “Well that does not matter,” the teacher explained. “You do not even know what it means.” “I do, I do!” Jeffrey corrected. “it means that the car won’t start.”

“A consultant is a man who knows 49 ways to make love but doesn’t know any women.”

“Intelligence is like underwear. It’s important that we all have it, but it isn’t necessary that we show it off.”

— James Dent (1928-1992)

James Dent wrote the daily “Gazetteer” column at the Charleston Gazette. Dent was one of those rare writers who occupied a warm spot in the public’s heart, because his charming accounts showed a sympathetic understanding of people’s daily difficulties. Charleston Mayor Kent Hall, who worked with Dent on a West Virginia University humor magazine when both were students, said Dent had a perfect ear for picking up the humor from a conversation and the rare ability to put it in written form. Dent was an only child, never married. He was a pack-rat and his apartment and office were crammed with books, magazines, newspapers and memos.


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